Okay, Mom, before you freak out, this is what happened. See, there was this fire and…

Alright, see? You’re already screaming and it isn’t helping anything, is it? The house is still here, Ruffles and Ms. Frisky are fine, and there’s, you know, “virtually” no damage to anything but the couch, floor, and that old ratty afghan that’s been on the couch for MILLENIA. Seriously, Mom, that thing was dangerous. I can’t believe my great-grandmother would leave something like that to you in her will, especially the way it just went up after just a teeny bit of exposure to a little sunlight focused through a simple magnifying glass in the name of Science.

Okay, WHOA. Let’s not start grounding people without hearing the whole story, alright? Science may have gotten us into this mess, but science DEFINITELY got us out of it. If I hadn’t seen that YouTube video on the Internet that you are, without a doubt, going to try to ban me from forever, this little scene would be a lot messier, if you catch my backdraft. I think you’ll agree that we were all VERY lucky that I was SO quick with the genius and put out the flame. So, yeah.

Huh? Why’s the cat got aluminum foil on its paws? Uh, I… I have no idea. Another great mystery of Science, I guess.

Wear this shirt: when you feel like you could just burst.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you heard from a guy who heard from a guy about a dude in his cousin’s town who once tried to swallow a bunch of mints and drink a two liter of diet cola on top of it. Poor guy.

This shirt tells the world: “SCIENCE – turning simple items into sticky fun for over THOUSANDS of years”

We call this color: Eruption Of Flavor Red

Back to top