2nd place in Derby #57: Dessert, with 654 votes!

Let’s talk about that orange wedge for a second. That orange wedge started life on a tree in a very specific climate. Everything was fine. Then, one day, a guy walked by and ripped it away from the only home it ever knew. Then it got put in a bag, and then a truck, and then another truck that was probably very very cold. A few days later it showed up in some strange kitchen, where it was sliced away from all its brother and sister wedges. And now, on a plate, it has a very limited time before it is either eaten or goes dry and is thrown away.

That is not the warm smile of contentment. That is the crazed smile of a thing beyond pain. Like Bjork at the end of “Dancer In the Dark”. They can’t hurt the orange wedge any more. No one can hurt the orange wedge ever again.

Wear this shirt: because it’s adorable. Look at that bear. Don’t you just want to eat that bear right up? He probably tastes like raspberries and honey. It makes you just want to pop the whole thing in your mouth and OH GOD WASABI WASABI WASABI WASABI

Don’t wear this shirt: to a wet t-shirt contest. It won’t distribute the water properly and you won’t win. And we want you to win. Really.

This shirt tells the world: “That pickled egg will be really upset when it finds out the cupcake is a crossdresser.”

We call this color: It’s Almost Lunchtime Now, Baby Blue

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