2nd place in Derby #51: Pixel Grid, with 508 votes!

I’m used to it by now. Nobody ever wants to talk about my sculpture, or my charity work, or my line of easy-to-clean cookware. Nope, it’s just tall, tall, tall. All height, all the time, with maybe a mention or two of my spots if I’m lucky.

Did you even know that my horns were called “ossicones”? Or that giraffes only sleep about two hours a day? Or that, among male giraffes, same-sex intimacy is actually more common than mating with females? (That doesn’t go for me, though, ladies – I’m open for breeding.) We can also throw down pretty rough when the occasion calls for it. But of course you didn’t know any of that. All you see when you look at me is a long neck and a pair of long legs.

Sure, I am taller than most things. But I’m also a loving, intelligent, energetic, tough, creative animal with a lot more to offer than mere height. I wonder if Magic Johnson ever feels like this.

This shirt was designed by: Shirt.Woot member epicodell, who probably sleeps more than two hours a day.

Wear this shirt: when grazing on mimosa trees.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re going on a blind date with an antelope. It’ll only make him or her feel inadequate.

This shirt tells the world: “Is my tongue 18 inches long, too? There’s only one way to find out.”

We call this color: Toys Я Olive.

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