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I Just Call it Housekeeping

by tgentry

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 15 - Dec 16
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Distilled Water Will Extend The Life Of Your Iron

2nd place in Derby #113: Harvest, with 1177 votes!

So this guy comes in, and he’s got like twenty mouths and a hundred squiggly arms and he’s from one of those dimensions that go for 100k a month, right, and he’s all “where are my souls” and I’m like “hey, if you don’t have a ticket, you don’t have any souls” and he’s like “they’re Pre-Sumerian and bound to my worship” and I’m like “I don’t care what they are, you don’t have a ticket, I’m not giving you a damn thing” and so he gets my manager, and my manager backs me, for once, right? And then the guy leaves.

So then, about an epoch later, he comes back in and slams the ticket down on the counter like he’s won some major interdimensional war, you know, and I’m like “good for you, squiggles", although I can’t say that, and I get his souls, and he’s like “get me your manager.” and I’m all like “what’s wrong?” and he’s like “i said get me your manager” and so I do, and it turns out the guy asked for the button up corrupt souls to be ironed, which isn’t even my job, that goth chick who reads comic books all day is supposed to handle that, but now it’s either take care of it or get devoured, because he’s apparently some kind of big shot devourer or something, and so I have to work another two hours getting his souls all flat, and the whole time he’s just standing there grinning this… well, not really a grin, because he didn’t really have teeth, but his mouth arms were really smugly placed.

I tell you, I gotta look into going back to college.

Wear this shirt: if you’re hot and flat. OHMYGOD that came out SO wrong! We totally didn’t mean it that way, we weren’t even looking at your- well, okay we’re looking now, obviously, but that’s just because we’re trying to apologize for how we said you were- when you’re clearly the exact opposite of- you know what, maybe we’ll just move on.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re that poster who thinks we make sex jokes too much. Really, we have no idea what you’re talking about, sir or madam. We’re pure as virgin snow.

This shirt tells the world: “Death Be Not Wrinkly”

We call this color: Navy Neck

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 55.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 35% one year old
  • 49% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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I Just Call it Housekeeping by tgentry
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.