3rd place in Derby #117: Halloween, with 1146 votes!

It’s a spooky hallow’s eve in 2009
This big pumpkin—yeah, I’m just sittin’ here

With candy—and it’s all mine

Milky Ways, Milky Ways
Pop Rocks and Twix
Milk Duds and Zagnuts
And hey, Pixy Stix

There’s some kind of creme-filled Moon Pie things in here
Boy, what a haul this yeeeear

Candy, candy, candy, man, I want some more
All I want to eat is sweets
I’m a candyvore
Candy, candy, candy, I’m gon’ eat some more
I’m, like, crazy
For candy, baby

Yeah, and I’ve got half a bag almost left
I wanna pig out, and—and I’m going to

I had two Ho-Hos
Some Buckeyes and Nerds
My sugar-high heart beats
Like a hummingbird’s

Just down the street’s a house I’ve not hit yet
Maybe they’ve got Chicleeets
Chiclets

Candy, candy, Red Hots, Twizzlers, Mason Crows
How my body craves that fructose and glucose
Candy corn and Kit Kats, I want more of those
I’m, like, crazy
For candy, baby
Candy, baby

Candy, candy, candy now my mother says
I might OD if I eat another Pez

CANDY CANDY CANDY
I LIKE CANDYYYYYY
I LIKE CANDYYYYYY
I LIKE CANDYYYYYY

CANDY, CANDY

Wear this shirt: under your costume to help keep warm.

Don’t wear this shirt: smeared with melted Rolos. Maybe you think it doesn’t show on the brown, but dude, it does.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m pure evil. I eat human skulls.”

We call this color: Brown Sugar, How Come You Taste So Good

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