Banana rain or shine, all the time

Hello. Me well-known and famous Derple the Purple Gorilla. You maybe remember me from well-known and famous gorilla TV show “Groin Pain.” Me want to talk to you about bananas. Did you know many science gorillas claim bananas grow from banana plants? Science gorillas are dum-dums!

Me live in gorilla house at Cleveland Municipal Zoo, and me eat bananas every day. Is no banana plant in gorilla house! So how me get bananas?

Is easy. When me see great and all-powerful zookeepers up on wall of gorilla moat, me do ritual banana dance. Then great and all-powerful zookeepers throw bananas down from wall. Is simple theological proposition. Great and all-powerful zookeepers bestow bananas on Derple as reward for Derple’s worship and praise. Dum-dum science gorillas too blind to see what obvious!

“Banana plants!” That rich!

Wear this shirt: while going—or during any period when it is likely you might go—ape.

Don’t wear this shirt: while you perform the Underpants Banana Dance. We think you know the prescribed uniform for that.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m a thrilla. A man-slash-lady-killa. I’m your prescription-filla. And I’m prone to mispronouncing ‘quesadilla.’”

We call this color: Black Banana

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