MAN 1: Someone do something! There’s gushing, spurting red gore everywhere, oh god, it’s horrible.

MAN 2: Whoa, looks like he really “lost his head.” Heh, heh.

MAN 1: What’s the matter with you, you sicko? Don’t you see what’s happened here?

MAN 2: Sorry, I know. Tragic. Didn’t mean to make light. Say, what’s that in the road… ahead? Heh, heh.

MAN 1: You’re sick! Sick! How can you be so flippant? It’s… oh, horrors, it’s spraying all over, it’s on my glasses.

MAN 2: Yeah, you’ll be “seeing red” now. Heh, heh.

MAN 1: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Are you a complete sociopath? I can’t believe—oh, thank goodness, the ambulance has arrived.

EMT: Whoa, that’s one way to try “topless dancing.” Heh, heh.

MAN 1: Agggh! You freaks! You horrible freaks!

MAN 2: Aw, where’s your sense of humor? Try to be more like that guy—look, he’s laughing his head off. Heh, heh.

MAN 1: Aiiiie! Oh, mister ambulance guy, I beg you, please, put something over the body or something. I can’t bear to see this.

EMT: Yeah, sure, no problem, I got a sheet right here.

DECAPITATION VICTIM: A sheet? Great, can you cover me, doc? I’m a little short!

DECAPITATION VICTIM, EMT, MAN 2: Heh, heh.

This shirt was designed by: Andre Jordan, whose clients include Woot and the BBC —the twin pillars of English-language culture.

Wear this shirt: so the blood stains don’t show.

Don’t wear this shirt: to your mental wellness support-group meeting. Not the appropriate venue for your characteristic glibness, Mister Glibb.

This shirt tells the world: “I have a cutting wit.”

We call this color: Gushing, Spurting Red Gore Everywhere, Oh God, It’s Horrible

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