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I’m here to rescue… uh…

by kinzoku

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jul 23 - Jul 25
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jul 22
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Never Trust A Princess

1st place in Derby #223: Awkward Moments, with 707 votes!

So she’s all like “Wow, your majesty, I can’t believe how awesome you are!” And I’m like “Really? You really think I’m awesome?” And she’s like “Yeah! You’ve got that cool horse, and wow, that armor! I’m totally into armor! I thought about joining SCA this year, but of course I was too busy with my classwork at princess school.” And so I figured, you know, we were hitting it off.

Then I was like “Hey, why don’t I come over and study?” and she was all “Oh, wow! What a great idea! I want to show you off to my roomie!” And so I go out and get some brand new armor and just go riding up, and then, suddenly I get there, and her roomies this freakin’ dragon who’s, like, six times my age! And the dragon’s all “Hey, what’s up. Nice armor.” and I feel super stupid because it’s clear, you know, I completely misread the signals on this one.

But now I still have to study, because I don’t want to admit I only showed up for her, and she’s all “Hey, buddy, you seem down? Need to talk?” and in my head I’m like WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE DATING A DRAGON but outside, I’m just “Nah, just gonna keep this helmet on as a study aid.”

Anyway, that princess and I don’t hang out much any more. I did see that dragon at the mall a few weeks ago but he pretended not to know me. I guess I’m actually cool with that.

Wear this shirt: to a singles bar, if you’re a girl. Then they can’t say you didn’t warn them.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a singles bar, if you’re a guy. Dude, it’s like ASKING to go home alone at the end of the night.

This shirt tells the world: “Don’t worry, kid, there’s always another castle.”

We call this color: Heart Of Grass, Or Stop Dragon My Heart Around

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 57.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 12% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 23% one year old
  • 60% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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I’m here to rescue… uh… by kinzoku
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.