3rd place in Derby #200: The Silver Screen, with 749 votes!

See, now, right off the bat, you guys are all making a mistake. You’re looking at this shirt and thinking “Woot, why do you support smoking?” and that’s because you’re RACIST because it’s not anything to do with smoking, that’s STEAM from the little box of authentic Mexican tamales.

Yeah, and now you’re saying “Woot, shut up, those look nothing like authentic Mexican tamales.” and that’s also because you’re RACIST because, what, you think all Mexicans know how to cook perfect tamales? Like it’s in their genes or something? I got a Mexican friend, he can barely heat up a can of soup. If his wife’s out of town he calls ME to help him order a pizza. If he tried to make tamales there’s a 85% chance they’d end up as little tiny sticks in a deep fryer and look EXACTLY LIKE THE ONES IN THIS IMAGE.

Really, what you should be focusing on is the popcorn box. What is that thing in there? Is that challah? Because if you show me a movie theater where I can get orange soda and challah at the snack bar, I’m putting down the cash for two season tickets.

That’s right, two. I’m not going to let the poor guy sit at home after I used him as an example. RACIST.

Wear this shirt: if you’re my Mexican friend. It’d look good on you, dude. It’s your color.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re… do I have to say it? Isn’t it obvious? Okay, I’ll give you a few more seconds to guess and then I’ll do the answer in “This shirt tells the world:”.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m part of the smoking lobby!” See? Now that I’ve said it, it’s SO OBVIOUS, right? Also ignore all that stuff up there where I called you a racist, it was just cover. Those are tooootally cigarettes. Hey, what can I say, sometimes you gotta play dirty. Learned that from Big Tobacco.

We call this color: Buy Me Some Red Hots And A Fruit Punch, And We Can Split The Nachos

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