Iron or Gold
by Steven Lefcourt
- Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 16 - Dec 17
- Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
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MAVIS
A cold wind whipped down through the valley, tangling his hair and carrying with it the sharp, biting scent of cold and snow. Above birds still sang, but their numbers grew thinner each day, and their songs less frequent and more lonely.
"You know, winter is co-"
"SHUT. UP. Seriously. You're like one of the Maester's ravens. All day long, 'Winter! Winter! Winter!' I KNOW ALREADY."
"I'm just saying we should brace our-"
"BRACE OURSELVES, YES. I HEARD. A MILLION BAZILLION FREAKING TIMES. Go to whichever of the seven hells is the worst, man. Just leave me alone."
"I knew I should've left to be a knight."
"Do you have any idea what that entails? We're pig farmers, Larry. You don't just waddle into the nearest castle and sign up to be highborn. This is an ancient, vaguely medieval time. By pure happenstance we happened to be born skewered firmly on the s&^% end of the stick."
"I could've joined the fighting."
"You know what's gonna happen with all that fighting? A bunch of dudes are gonna die, a different colored flag will be just barely visible in the distance, and still no one will come within 1,000 miles of us because we're pig farmers and we have the perma-stink of pig crap embedded in our skin."
"I just thought a great war of kingdoms would seem more interesting."
"Yeah, well not everyone gets to be special. Some of us are just pig farmers."
Wear this shirt: Into glorious battle.
Don't wear this shirt: While watching thinly-veiled softcore pornography on HBO.
This shirt tells the world: "It doesn't sound as thrilling to charge into a fight in the school cafeteria shouting, '456 MEADOWVIEW LANE!'"
We call this color: Beware the Blackened Man
Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.
Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.
Please check our sizing chart before you order.
This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!
Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!
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