3rd place in Derby #89: Dinosaurs, with 836 votes!

Ingredients:
One thousand large dinosaurs
20,000 humans
Various predators and misfortunes and dangers
Egg timer
Large Saucepan

Place the large dinosaurs in the saucepan, full of the misfortunes, dangers and predators. Let dinosaurs simmer uncovered for exactly twenty five million years. Stir. You should see a reduction in dinosaur size, and notice around half the dinosaurs are gone.

Cover the dinosaurs and let simmer for an additional thirty five million years. Check the dinosaurs again. The few that remain should appear smaller and somewhat greenish-white. Add the humans and stir. Let sit for five million years.

You should notice that all the humans have left to populate the stars after a war with their android slaves, leaving behind mysterious artifacts, strange writings, and a few stragglers that think their civilization is only a few thousand years old. Pour them into a glass to dispose of later. The one remaining dinosaur will be white with feathers and seem really stupid. Consume. Serves 1-2.

Wear this shirt: to show the host or hostess that you can be very patient when dinner is running a little late.

Don’t wear this shirt: when you’re delivering pizzas in thirty minutes or less.

This shirt tells the world: “Wait long enough by the river and the body of your enemy will float by.”

We call this color: Once said a young lady named Jean/
To a boy with his own time machine/I’ll let you come over/When hell freezes over/So he called on her descendant, Kelly Green

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