A meal is only as good as its secret ingredient.

I didn't plan on telling them, but eventually I couldn't take it anymore.

People always came up to me, saying, "Chef! Chef! How do you make such a delicious plate of Soylent Green?"

I explained that it was a long and complicated process. Early each morning, while everyone else was still asleep, I was awake in my kitchen, mixing the ingredients and finding the right flavors for my newest batch. I let them know that it took years of practice to get the recipe right and that I was very careful to stick to my routine.

But that didn't stop them. Every day, more and more people came up to me, begging for a recipe. I tried persuading them to give up, explaining that the ingredients were a secret and had stayed a secret for many years. But they kept begging. They kept asking. And finally, after I couldn't take it anymore, after the begging reached an overwhelming level, I gave in.

I opened my window and shouted out to the world, "IT'S MADE OF SILVERWARE!!!!!!!!" And, of course, people. 

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