1st place in Derby #57: Dessert, with 706 votes!

Jimmy? He was…he was one of those jack o’ lanterns that you think is always gonna be around. I mean, yeah, we all rot eventually. I know that. But Jimmy never even got the chance. One day, there he was, just as orange as you please, making the whole patch crack up with another canteloupe joke. We thought he’d wind up as one of those famous jack o’ lanterns on the Internet, you know, where it’s like the seeds are his brains spilling out or whatever. Then one day he was gone. Just gone. That I could’ve dealt with. But then to see him like that, all smashed and brown, it hurt. I hardly even recognized him. It was messed up, man. He deserved better.

Wear this shirt: if you think cold-blooded murder is funny. You animal.

Don’t wear this shirt: and expect the Great Pumpkin to visit your patch.

This shirt tells the world: “Plants have feelings, too. That’s why it’s so much fun to destroy them.”

We call this color: Brown To A Crisp.

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