1st & 2nd place in Derby #105: Two, with 2140 votes!

You know those couples who coordinate their Hallowe’en costumes? Yeah, there’s some sad things known to man, but nothing breaks your heart quite like seeing a once proud, free, strong man who’s been reduced to playing Hansel to his wife or girlfriend’s Gretel. It’s like seeing a wild mustang broken for the saddle, or a bear in a cage at the circus being made to wear a tiny bowler.

Well, who says that kind of emasculating humiliation can only take place once a year? Ladies, grab a set of these matching tees for yourselves and your men and show the world who’s got whom by the what!

But what if you’re not part of a couple? What if you’re just a single guy or gal trying to find his or her own way through this big, wide world with no one to help him or her?

In that case, we recommend slipping into whichever of these shirts you like better and just going about your life. Because one day you’ll wear it to some mixer thrown by some friends of friends, and some winsome stranger will be there wearing its opposite—and you’ll just know it’s fate.

Well, either it’s fate or s/he has a harried mate in the next room, wearing the same shirt as you, fetching drinks for the both of them.

Wear these shirts: on romantic walks with your honey-bunny snookie-wookums, and your honey-bunny snookie-wookums can wear the other one, and you can be twinkies. Awww! So sweet! Now get out of here, you two actually make us kind of sick.

Don’t wear either of these shirts: without its match. Don’t do it! They must never be separated! You are meddling with ancient majicks beyond your ken! Nah, we’re just messin’ with ya. Go solo if you really prefer one of them to the other. Buy either one; buy both; buy two of one and one of the other; it’s your call.

These shirts tell the world: “2GETHR 4EVR.” Or, in some cases, “Rowr! whp-PKSSSHHHH!” It depends on how you wear them.

We call this color: Two Cremes, Two Sugars

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