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Keep Driving

by Spiritgreen

$19.00 + free shipping
Black
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery May 31 - Jun 02
  • Express - Estimated delivery May 31
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Another Tale From The West Boo-Foo Cafe

Well now, don’t you all look fancy with your gadgets, your gear, and your matching shirts. You all must be the folks from that TV show that’s got people around here all in a tizzy.

No, sir, I don’t reckon I’ve ever watched your little scare show. Don’t have time for much television what with my busy schedule of sittin’ here on this stool and drinkin’ Erna’s coffee day after day. Sounds awful silly to me, but I ain’t one to judge. People have got to make their living somehow. So what can I do for you, strangers?

The Zimmerdales? Why do you want to know about the Zimmerdales? You folks aren’t headed up to the Old Bridge Motel, are ya? Hell, no wonder no one else in West Boo-foo wants you all around.

Well, for starters, Robert and Alice Zimmerdale were two of the kindest, gentlest people this town has ever known, and that ten-year old daughter of theirs, Haley, was just about the sweetest. It was a horrible thing that happened up there, and there ain’t a one of us in this town that wants to live through that again. That probably won’t stop you, will it? Well, all right. Erna? I’d like a slice of the chocolate silk pie, please. These folks will pay for it.

Now no one seems to be able to recall exactly what happened to that child. Some folks’ll tell you, if they’d talk to you, that she went swimmin’ out where she wasn’t supposed to, cut her hand on a rock, and the wound got infected. Others say she got bit real bad by something she ran into out in the woods. Some damn fools, mostly drunks, will say she got sick after messin’ with that meteorite that fell around here ‘round about the time all this started. I say, who cares? Don’t reckon it matters much. Either way, it took that little girl from her parents. That in itself would make any parents go a little crazy, if you ask me.

No wake. No funeral. No memorial. The Zimmerdales closed themselves up just like they did the motel for weeks after. Then, one night, a tall fence appeared around the property and the sign came back on. The Old Bridge Motel was open for business again. That’s when the disappearances started, I reckon.

They say that Robert and Alice were the ones that did the killing, but it just ain’t true. Neither one of them had it in ‘em. They might of knocked those victims out, tied ‘em up, maybe even bludgeoned ‘em, but they couldn’t kill anyone. In a way, that was sort of the problem.

Police say they stuffed the rooms with the bits and pieces. Turned the air conditioning way down to try to keep decomposition down. Alice must have filled each room with those little twisty air freshener things to keep the smell down, too. Heh. That’d be just like her. Was hell on the officers to have to identify all those bits, though. Out of the 40 rooms available, only 4 of them were empty. One of those had a family from East Juices staying when the cops busted in. Can’t imagine they’ll be coming to West Boo-foo again anytime soon.

They found Robert and Alice in the basement of the office. Shot ‘em cold dead when, according to the official report, they came at the officers with some axes they were using to chop up another body. Thing is, according to that same report, there wasn’t any blood on either of‘em. In fact, the investigators figure those axes were used to free whatever small creature they had chained to the wall down there. They never did find out what happened to her. Excuse me, I meant to say “it.”

You know, that fence around Zimmerdale’s hasn’t been opened in the over twenty years since. Do me a favor, will ya, TV man? If you all go up there, you just make sure you lock that gate behind you, you hear? After all, folks like you who go lookin’ for trouble are probably liable to find it. Now leave an old man to his coffee and pie.

Wear this shirt: to a zombie movie marathon.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’ve ever made the mistake of carrying a black light into a motel room.

This shirt tells the world: “I know it looks a little rough, but the room service is to die for.”

We call this color: I Will Turn This Car Black Around This Instant

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 5.000s
First Sucker:
anschutz
Last Wooter to Woot:
killshot1971

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 91% second woot
  • 9% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 4% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 21% one year old
  • 72% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 91% bought 1
  • 8% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

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4%
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12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

2%
1%
3%
86%
4%
2%
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Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

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Keep Driving by Spiritgreen
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.