Hey, George! The microchip embedded in my brain told me you might stop by!

Come on in and make yourself comfortable anywhere within a salt circle. You don’t want to get possessed, of course. Sorry about all the garlic and silver everywhere but, as you can see, I’ve been replacing all the aluminum foil lining the walls with actual TIN foil and haven’t been able to clean up since Halloween. Speaking of foil, would you mind putting this hat on? Thanks, friend.

So what brings you by? The government? Aliens? Rogue lizard people who have been living in a secret world below ground, waiting for their chance to strike? Oh, you bought a shirt that reminded you of me and you wanted to bring it by, is that it? Well let’s have a look at it. Ha! Yeah, I guess I can see why you thought I might like it. Take a look at this, Fro’Mok. I’ve introduced you to Fro’Mok before, right, George? My friend from Dimension 72 that no one can see but me? I thought so.

Look, I really hate to rush you out the door, but I’ve got a lot to do before the Grays come by for my nightly abduction. They’re exploring my gastro-intestinal system tonight and I should really shower beforehand. It’s the polite thing to do. But we should totally get together on the astral plane sometime. Say hello to “them” for me, whoever “they” are!

Wear this shirt: if you feel reality is overrated.

Don’t wear this shirt: to bed where the aliens who give you a good probing every night can see.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s not that I don’t know that stuff isn’t real, it’s just that I refuse to accept it.”

We call this color: Blacking Out Reality

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