When’s the last time you saw this guy in anything?

I’ve got to give it to him, though; he’s still The King! Look at that, chest pounding in the middle of the routine. He’s still got it! Love the nod to the fans, there.

You know, he’s got some real moves! You can barely tell he took that fall at all. Oooh, I don’t think the judges will like him ripping his partner’s dress like that. Oh well, that’s Kong! Oh man, remember his sitcom That’s Kong!? God, that thing sucked. What a has-been. Oh well, that’s what you watch shows like this for.

This is almost as exciting as seeing Kate from Kate Plus 8 dance, and all those other people who inexplicably became famous for not having enough sense to stop procreating!

Wear this shirt: While trying to woo the lady you love, regardless of how incredibly different the worlds you come from may be.

Don’t wear this shirt: In a terrible 1976 remake. Be original! Make a story no one’s ever told!

This shirt tells the world: “It’s King Kong! Get it?! Yeah, all my shirts reference things other people created. Makes up for my lack of anything interesting to say.”

We call this color: Gigasphaltopithecus

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