Everything in it’s place.

That’s a good rule to follow. In your life, your kitchen, and your wardrobe. After all, no one wants to eat the recipes in the Anarchist’s Cookbook.

A good meal is like a summit of ruling powers. There’s the absolute dictatorship of the ideal pastry, the laissez-faire democracy of an innovative salad, the benevolent monarchy of the main dish and the communism of the soup. Any true chef knows… well, we sell shirts, so we have no idea what they know, but we’re pretty sure it involves making all these opposites unify in a way that would make Art Bell curl up in terror.

Cooking is the New World Order, in a way. They have the knowledge and the knives, and we’re expected to sit down and shut up and trust them. Maybe someone should be watching the chefs of the world instead of the evil industrialists. Ah, well. At least in a cuisineocracy everyone will have a tapenade with their crust of bread.

Wear this shirt: when you want an excuse to rub up against someone wearing a picture of a whetstone.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the airport. You just know SOMEBODY is gonna flip out for SOME reason.

This shirt tells the world: “If you don’t fit in the place I have assigned you, I can always find a way to trim you until you do.”

We call this color: Black As The Water After A Night Of Dishwashing

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