1st place in Derby #95: Pointillism, with 1147 votes!

Ah, retirement. I can just sit in my garden and… sit and… well. My chair seems to be gone. But my doctor said not to worry about little things, so I guess I’ll just stretch out on the grass and enjoy the sunshine. Mmm. This is the good life. Maybe a little sip of lemona- that’s strange. There was a table right here a second ago.

Well, at least I can enjoy the sound of the birds. I spent years growing those grape vines, specifically to attract the birds. I love the sound of birds. If there weren’t birds around, I’d probably go- HA! CAUGHT YOU! I CAUGHT YOU, CHARLIE! I SEE YOU TELEPORTING MY STUFF AWAY! YOU BEAM IT ALL BACK DOWN RIGHT NOW! YOU HEAR ME, CHARLIE? RIGHT NOW! Yeah, that’s better. That’s much better. Heh. Good ol’ Charlie. Lettin’ me know he misses me on the console. I gotta do lunch with him next week. But not today. Today’s just for… well, what do you know. A fresh corned beef sandwich, just how I like it.

Good ol’ Charlie. Best guy in the fleet.

Wear this shirt: when you’ve got no plans. No plans at all.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’d rather wear a different one. Mellow out, man, nobody wants your haterade on a nice day like today. Stop instigatin’.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m probably headed to a park right now. Unless I find a record store along the way.”

We call this color: Brown Eyed Shirt. La La La La La La La La La La La Di Da. La La La La La La La La La La La De Da.

Back to top