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Lament of the Kiwi

by theinfinityloop

$19.00 + free shipping
Kelly Green
New
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Apr 24 - Apr 26
  • Express - Estimated delivery Apr 23
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members
Add to cart

Hara-Kiwi

This is for getting all those seeds stuck in my teeth, you fuzzy little gooseberry.

1st place in Derby #81: Heartbreak, with 1233 votes!

Come gather ‘round, ye friends, shut up and listen to the ballad
Of the kiwi who got sliced in half and ended up fruit salad

Most folks are glad when kiwi fruits meet such a tasty end
But then again “most folks” are not this fruit’s sad, flightless friend

It just so happens this fruit had a pal, a kiwi bird
Who wept and gnashed her beak in anguished sorrow when she heard

“What happened?” cried the kiwi bird, “this fruit was like my sister!
What kind of savage maniac or madman could have squished her?”

The kiwi bird collapsed in grief and anger and confusion
Face-down in the juice, which, from her former chum was oozin’

And accidentally tasting her friend’s sweet delicious goo
Said “oh! If I’d have known, I s’pose I might have slashed her, too.”

Wear this shirt: to Tasmania! That’s where they call people “kiwis,” right?

Don’t wear this shirt: to any salad bar where you aren’t 100% sure what kind of kiwi’s on offer.

This shirt tells the world: “Fruit is murder.”

We call this color: Kiwi-Killer-Kelly Green.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 8.000s
First Sucker:
aryd51
Last Wooter to Woot:
kevdadude

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 13% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 37% one year old
  • 42% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
7%
3%
2%
2%
2%
4%
6%
8%
6%
7%
6%
5%
6%
5%
2%
2%
1%
2%
1%
2%
2%
1%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

5%
4%
5%
5%
71%
5%
5%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (184 comments)

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Lament of the Kiwi by theinfinityloop
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.