Lament of the Kiwi
by theinfinityloop
- Standard - Estimated delivery Jan 7 - Jan 9
- Express - Estimated delivery Jan 4 - Jan 6
- Standard International - Estimated delivery Jan 12 - Jan 14
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1st place in Derby #81: Heartbreak, with 1233 votes!
Come gather ‘round, ye friends, shut up and listen to the ballad
Of the kiwi who got sliced in half and ended up fruit salad
Most folks are glad when kiwi fruits meet such a tasty end
But then again “most folks” are not this fruit’s sad, flightless friend
It just so happens this fruit had a pal, a kiwi bird
Who wept and gnashed her beak in anguished sorrow when she heard
“What happened?” cried the kiwi bird, “this fruit was like my sister!
What kind of savage maniac or madman could have squished her?”
The kiwi bird collapsed in grief and anger and confusion
Face-down in the juice, which, from her former chum was oozin’
And accidentally tasting her friend’s sweet delicious goo
Said “oh! If I’d have known, I s’pose I might have slashed her, too.”
Wear this shirt: to Tasmania! That’s where they call people “kiwis,” right?
Don’t wear this shirt: to any salad bar where you aren’t 100% sure what kind of kiwi’s on offer.
This shirt tells the world: “Fruit is murder.”
We call this color: Kiwi-Killer-Kelly Green.
Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.
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