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Lament of the Kiwi

by theinfinityloop

$19.00 + free shipping
Kelly Green
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 4 - Dec 6
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 1 - Dec 3
  • Standard International - Estimated delivery Dec 9 - Dec 11
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Hara-Kiwi

This is for getting all those seeds stuck in my teeth, you fuzzy little gooseberry.

1st place in Derby #81: Heartbreak, with 1233 votes!

Come gather ‘round, ye friends, shut up and listen to the ballad
Of the kiwi who got sliced in half and ended up fruit salad

Most folks are glad when kiwi fruits meet such a tasty end
But then again “most folks” are not this fruit’s sad, flightless friend

It just so happens this fruit had a pal, a kiwi bird
Who wept and gnashed her beak in anguished sorrow when she heard

“What happened?” cried the kiwi bird, “this fruit was like my sister!
What kind of savage maniac or madman could have squished her?”

The kiwi bird collapsed in grief and anger and confusion
Face-down in the juice, which, from her former chum was oozin’

And accidentally tasting her friend’s sweet delicious goo
Said “oh! If I’d have known, I s’pose I might have slashed her, too.”

Wear this shirt: to Tasmania! That’s where they call people “kiwis,” right?

Don’t wear this shirt: to any salad bar where you aren’t 100% sure what kind of kiwi’s on offer.

This shirt tells the world: “Fruit is murder.”

We call this color: Kiwi-Killer-Kelly Green.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

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Women’s V-Necks

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Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

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Pullover Hoodies

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Crewneck Sweatshirts

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Zip Hoodies

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Raglans

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Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 8.000s

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 13% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 36% one year old
  • 43% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
7%
3%
2%
2%
2%
4%
6%
8%
6%
7%
6%
5%
6%
5%
2%
2%
2%
2%
1%
2%
2%
1%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
4%
5%
5%
70%
5%
5%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Lament of the Kiwi by theinfinityloop
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.