Ah! Monsieur! Welcome to the Chateau D’Sentience! Here, all the food is alive!

Oh, ho ho ho, “how is that different from normal food” indeed, Monsieur makes a clever joke, no? For surely, monsieur knows that there is a difference between life, and sentience, no? Here, let me seat you and show you what it is that we at the Chateau D’Sentience do best.

Monsieur well begin with an artichoke salad, au? Ah, now monsieur understands! See the happy face on that artichoke? And the joyous clove that adds the flavor? Oh, but note the unhappy clove as well, for food, like life, must balance the bitter with the sweet. OH, Monsieur, pardon me, the garnish is making out with itself. Stop that at once, you dirty garnish! You must forgive them, monsieur, they have become enraptured with the passion that only a salad can bring.

Monsieur! What is wrong? Where are you going? Is it the puffy dandelion? I assure you, it is only the allergies, it is nothing that you could catch. Monsieur! Monsieur! Don’t you even want to try the pine nuts? Well, all right, but please, monsieur, please come again. Ah, garnish, what is it with you? No P.D.A., S’il vous plait!

Wear this shirt: as an attractive side dish.

Don’t wear this shirt: as a way to distract your friend Artie from making the game-winning shot during the basketball tournament. It’s too cerebral. No one will get it and you’ll end up looking dumb.

This shirt tells the world: “What is that green thing? Some kind of natural ice cream or wild guacamole?”

We call this color: Wrap That Up After You Slice It Or It Will Go Brown

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