3rd place in Derby #71: Thrift, with 679 votes!

No, no, no. It’ll never sell. I’ve been in the toy business for well over fourteen months – longer than some of our customers have been alive. And this “cardboard box” just doesn’t offer anything to engage children. It doesn’t play bleeping electronic music. It doesn’t talk. It doesn’t vibrate. I mean, come on, it doesn’t even light up. Good luck shifting units without a TV or movie tie-in. If you priced it high enough, maybe the yuppie-mom market might go for it, but they prefer wooden toys nowadays. Yeah, I don’t see this one catching on at all.

Now tell all those kids to stop playing with it and get over here. We’ve got real toys for them to try out, and all this box-play is wasting valuable market-research time.

This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant crunchybitesized, who’s a crunchykingsized in his own mind.

Wear this shirt: to affirm the power of imagination and cardboard.

Don’t wear this shirt: while you’re tripping on acid. You may never come back.

This shirt tells the world: “What do you mean, ‘homeless’? I live in a flying purple castle on the Moon.”

We call this color: And I’m Also The Admiral Of The Magical Intergalactic Werewolf Navy.

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