“That is one nice lookin’ monkey you’ve got there.”

Yes, friends, that’s what all the neighbors will be saying after just one application of this bona fide miracle of hair-shaping wonderment. You won’t be able to resist showin’ your monkey off in public, and why would you? Folks will gasp at the sight of such a lovely, well-groomed monkey on the subway, in public parks, anywhere you can think of!

Look, gents. Let’s be honest. Your monkey is important to you no matter what the shape of size, but no one likes to stare at a shaggy monkey. But what can you do? Trimming your monkey takes time and money. And shaving? Heavens, no, especially with all the itching and discomfort that shaving can cause your monkey. That’s why men everywhere are rushing to their general store for the “gotta-have-it” hair jelly specifically designed with your monkey in mind.

Also good for human moustaches, beards, and other hair-type things. See canister for details.

Wear this shirt: as you train your monkey to tie the local damsel-in-distress to the railroad tracks.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a Dapper Dan man.

This shirt tells the world: “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed monkey.”

We call this color: Monkeys On Your Black

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