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Let The Cookie Win

by Theron Wallis

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 16 - Dec 17
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

It Had Walnuts But We Remastered It

Oh, man, I was up late last night, you know, reading the public domain fables built around the myth of the hero which have been passed down from generation to generation and are older than any one person’s interpretation of copyright law, and I got this great idea for an epic about snacks.

First, there’s this slice of angel food cake, you know, that wants to be more. He wants to go out and join the strawberry league and defend the universe. And then one day, these two chocolate coins show up outside his house. So he goes with them to a club to meet this dark chocolate candy bar trucker, only on the inside the candy bar is pure marshmallow but we don’t know that right away. Oh, plus the candy bar travels with this cookie, a soft cookie… let’s just call it chewable for now. And they all go off to find their destiny.

Anyway, they eventually reach this planet where these elves who live in the trees help them beat off the tyrannical broccoli that’s been causing all the trouble, and we find out that the angel food cake has learned how to be a real fighter, because he saves everybody! Doesn’t that sound great?

And hey, if you like that, you’ll love the idea I’ve got for the story of how they were all baked. It’s six hours of all these alien cooks reading recipes to each other, only everything in the kitchen is computer generated, and at the end, we zoom into the oven and there’s fire everywhere and it looks really cool, but you only see that for the two minutes right before the credits. Doesn’t that sound fantastic too?

This shirt was designed by: twallis, who knows that the milk in the glass was the cousin of the butter that went into the cookies even though they never actually met except for once in the grocery bag but that was from the Marvel comic so it probably doesn’t count.

Wear this shirt: to a Kurosawa film festival. Yeah, we’re rubber, you’re glue, pal. You ain’t no paladin either.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you work at a ranch. Bunny, dressing, Dorito Cool, we don’t care. Just wear a different shirt to work. We’ll all be happier.

This shirt tells the world: “If you eat one fresh from the oven remember not to ruin it for the people waiting for them to cool by posting spoilers on the Internet.”

We call this color: Brown Harvest

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 31.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 89% second woot
  • 11% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 15% joined today
  • 3% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 33% one year old
  • 45% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 89% bought 1
  • 9% bought 2
  • 2% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Let The Cookie Win by Theron Wallis
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.