3rd place in Derby #235: Dubious Honors, with 529 votes!

Now, we’re not saying that everyone deserves to be treated special every day of their lives, you understand. But c’mon, once in a while? Because the Jordans and the LeBrons, they’ve got achievements to throw away. But the guy who works at the gas station to pay for his wife’s medical bills? He’s not always going to get to tell his story.

You can make a lot of jokes about “everybody gets a trophy day” and that’s fine, because competition’s about winning and losing. But if the best you can ever do is be “Employee Of The Month February 2008” well, maybe that’s something you’ll hold on to a little bit more tightly than you should.

Don’t look at this shirt as an easy victory waiting to be won. Look at it as a reminder that there’s still reason to keep on fighting. Then maybe you’ll understand how important an award for breathing might actually be.

Wear this shirt: to your meditation class. It’ll show you’re ready for the advanced classes!

Don’t wear this shirt: and drown. It’ll doom you to being an image macro until the end of time.

This shirt tells the world: “You can do anything if you practice it long enough.”

We call this color: Somebody’s Got Cranberry Breath

Back to top