2nd place in Derby #534: Lightning in a bottle

Most scientists live a life of obscurity, but a select few, like Tesla, achieve a strange nerd-celebrity status. How do you become one of these scientists? It's simple:

1. Choose something weird to study. For example, don't study the vibrations of glass when you play music; try to train bugs to eat electrical wire or something.

2. Make sure you have interesting hair and/or facial hair. If this isn't possible, wear goggles all the time.

3. Dress like the 1920s never ended.

4. Change your name to something foreign-sounding. Adapt an accent to match. And if you can't come up with an accent, just do a British one; that's the catch-all "Cultured Person Who's Not From Here" voice.

5. Make sure something explodes during every experiment you conduct, even if it's just something small, like a banana. A little bit goes a long way when it comes to blowing stuff up.

Taking these steps, you should be well on your way to a level of stardom enjoyed only by a few really weird dudes! Congratulations! The internet's going to love you! (Even if you were a eugenicist like Tesla!)

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