The hammock creaks as it rocks back and forth between the palms. It’s hot down on the beach—but up here, in the shade of the island’s thick, verdant foliage, your bodily thermostat is running on its Energy-SavR setting, and you’re comfy as a tick in a fold of neck fat. OK, maybe your belly’s a little chilly from the icy rum drink you’re resting on it, but a little hardship builds character, right? A warm, gentle salt breeze carries the sweet perfume of tropical flowers, and you’re thinking about strolling down to the shore to dip your toes again when NGZNGZNGZNGZNGZNGZNGZ

The ear-splitting buzz of the deep-fat fryer jolts you from your reverie. You’re back at Burger Sarge in Bolingbrook, and winter’s coming on, and you’re hours and hours from warm seas. It seemed so real! You pull open the collar of your yellow Burger Sarge smock and peek at the hibiscus on your t-shirt underneath. It’s probably a trick of the heat distortion in here, but you could swear those flowers are waving as if in a tropic zephyr. Could it be your shirt.woot tee… is enchanted?

This shirt was designed by: bvillarreal, about whom little is known for certain, but around whom countless wild legends and rumors swirl like the mists around the mountaintop.

Wear this shirt: if you’re going to a hukilau—huki, huki, huki, huki, huki-hukilau.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re going to the hoosegow. You’re going to have enough trouble coming off “tough” without wearing a shirt with flowers on it.

This shirt tells the world: “Aloha shirts are just a little too formal for me.”

We call this color: Asphalohalt

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