2nd place in Derby #159: Road Trip, with 496 votes!

See, the thing about being a dark force of evil is, you usually have access to a pretty good GPS. I mean, hello, world of sinners? You work for the Devil, you make a few calls, and all those old Greek dudes living in the first ring get out the maps and tell you where your target is. Usually.

Of course, today, naturally, the Devil’s in court, and everybody’s watching to see if Dan Webster is going to pull it off. You can’t get too mad, I mean, when sloth is one of the Deadly Sins, you have to expect there’s going to be some goofing off in the workplace. But that leaves me totally up Pumpkin Creek without a carving knife, if you get what I’m saying. Anybody got an AAA membership?

Wear this shirt: on Halloween. HEY. ALL YOU PEOPLE THAT WHINE THAT WE NEVER LEAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO GET HOLIDAY SHIRTS. ARE YOU READING THIS? BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT THIS YEAR, OKAY?

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a crane operator trying to get ahead.

This shirt tells the world: “So we took that right at Albuquerque, New England, and… oh, wait, the map’s upside down.”

We call this color: You Gotta See The Royal Blue-per Reel On This One, I Bet That Head Rolled Off The Horse Nearly A Hundred Times, It’s Awesome

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