They can take away my freedom. But they can’t take away my desire to fly free.

These stripes. They mark me. It’s easy for them to find me, easy for anyone to see. I’m prey for the lions of the veldt. But I won’t always be prey forever.

As long as they can’t break you, you can still win. And I’m a winner. I know about the money I’ve got hidden near the watering hole, under that rock. When I get out, I’m taking that money to Mexico and living like a horse. Not a mixed up zebra. A real horse that’s all one color. A horse that’s free as a bird. Yeah, the prison librarian gets on my about my mixed metaphors all the time. I guess I should take a creative writing class at some point.

See, I can plan for that, because I know these bars won’t hold me. When the warden’s asleep, I’ll slip out. The Bird Zebra of Alcatraz, they’ll call me. Wait, am I in Alcatraz? Or is this Sing Sing? I really need to look these things up before I start my jailbreak.

Wear this shirt: when they’re going alphabetical by shirt and you want to get picked last.

Don’t wear this shirt: if your name is Zed. You’ll get teased. Especially by Europeans. Those dumb ol’ Europeans. Always spelling English wrong.

This shirt tells the world: “My inner animal is a zebra shama- wait, what do you mean we’re not friends anymore?”

We call this color: What’s Black And White And Red All Over Just Without The White And The Red?

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