3rd place: Derby #58: Work, with 695 votes!

New job? We’ve been there. Everyone has their own rules, their own space, their own hierarchy and cliques and screen savers. This computer has to be turned on at six. That computer can’t ever be turned off except for the monitor. Don’t ever open this door even though no one knows why.

Like any other sacred space, all you have to do is wait around, and it will reveal itself. You think a Shaolin Monk can just stick his fists in the hot coal in a week? There’s a plan you’re a part of, just keep at it and you’ll figure it out.

Or, you know, rat out your cubicle mate and show you’re executive material. Who wants to be C.E.O. when you’re too old to enjoy it? Movin’ on up, baby!

This shirt was designed by: tgentry, who’s all about the flying toasters. Really, they’d be a great invention. You could carpet bomb an enemy and end post-war famine all at the same time. And who’s gonna reverse engineer toast?

Wear this shirt: if you’re trying to explain to your co-workers how Portal would change office politics for the better.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re an architect anywhere but Dubai. They’ll eat this stuff up in Dubai.

This shirt tells the world: “Glug.”

We call this color: My Baby Done Went To The Copier Against The Laws Of Gravity As We Know Them Royal Blues

Back to top