2nd Place in Derby #410: Pop Culture Kawaii, with 153 votes!

TENETS OF FRIENDSHIP

-When relocating residences, support will be provided. Meals serve as commensurate compensation.

-Transport to/from the airport is mandatory. Any airport. ANY. AIRPORT.

-In the event of a termination of romantic relationship, sobbing experience will be shared, followed by refuge at favorite tavern. Sobbing will continue.

-Injured parties subject to laughter and pointing unless injured party is unconscious.

-If preferred sporting teams differ, slight against FRIEND’S team is punishable by equivalent jab in return (disregard that both assessments are probably accurate albeit stinging).

-Geographical distance is inconsequential.

-Tears shed during a cinematic viewing carry a sentence of 7 years of ridicule (per tear).

-Enjoyment of life events in absence of FRIEND are diminished.

-Shared bed acceptable in most circumstances, provided adequate pillow wall separates bed halves. Sleep-spooning punishable by banishment to the floor.

-Trust is loaned in abundance.

-Money … eeeeh. Not so much.

-In times of turbulence or celebration, neither age nor spouse nor job nor hell nor high water shall intervene.

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