September 3rd, 1841

Dearest Martha,

As I write this, the long summer is coming to a close. This year the town fathers decided to drain the pond. It has prevented a great many malaria deaths, but I have had precious little to eat. That fine coat your father made hangs large on me now. I fear you would not know me if you saw me.

The people in this town do not seem to care for me, although they are always polite. I think they see me as standoffish and aloof. I try to make friends but become confused by the noise in the town square. Sometimes it can be difficult to find my way home. Once I stayed in a boarding house but the landlady chased me out with a broom after a few hours so I no longer frequent that establishment.

I wish you were able to visit. I know the city is a long way away, but it can be very lonely here. I sometimes wish I were there with you, dangling from the heirloom chandelier and enjoying imported fruit. But I am determined to prove myself, and to make my fortune through honest living. And, God willing, I will succeed.

Please write me soon. I miss you terribly.

Yours lovingly,
Thomas

This shirt was designed by: AJ Dimarucot, winner of the Design By Humans big-mega-ginormous best-shirt-EVAR contest which can be found here. And he’s no longer rabid, so he’s got that going for him as well.

Wear this shirt: when you plan to sleep all day. Maybe get a larger size so you’ll be more comfortable.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you are going to Antarctica. There are no bats in Antarctica. It’s just not allowed. Sorry.

This shirt tells the world: “I’m too high for humans to hear!”

We call this color: Chiropterasphalt

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