Mustaches no longer mean the wearer is a gay man, a Baby Boomer, or a cop. Now they mean the wearer is a gay man, a Baby Boomer, a cop, or a hipster. When a trend reaches the supermarkets of Missouri, you know it’s permeated the culture. And judging by the hairy lips we see haunting the produce section on people who certainly know better, the ((semi?-)ironic?) mustache is the choice of a new generation.

This aspirational woodchuck is doing his best to keep up with the Justins, but he needn’t try so hard. Why should he bother cultivating a mustache? He IS a mustache.

This shirt was designed by: the Fuzzy Ink gang, who use their powers of t-shirt design to promote a more mustachioed future. Their hirsute credo: “Feel better. Grow a mustache.” All of which makes us wonder what they’d be saying if our generation’s male authority figures had opted for Van Dykes or muttonchops.

Wear this shirt: and tell people it’s a gopher or something, unless you want to hear tongue-twisters all day long.

Don’t wear this shirt: and tell people what it really is, unless you want to hear tongue-twisters all day long.

This shirt tells the world: “One man’s fur is another man’s full-body mustache.”

We call this color: I Think You’ve Got Some Cream On Your Lip – Oh, Never Mind, You’re Trying To Grow A Mustache.

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