2nd place in Derby #144: How Do They Work?, with 1007 votes!

It’s taken me seven years of research, but I have finally figured out the perfect formula for a viral internet meme. It’s a pretty complicated algorithm, but once my simulation finishes we should know exactly what our next YouTube video should have to make us world famous.

It’s got to be funny, but also adorable. No, no, maudlin’s no good. The 14-18 male demographic will tear it apart. It’s also gotta have major geek cred. A video game reference is good, but some relatively “obscure” piece of literature that people are vaguely aware of without having actually read is great. Think The Call of Cthulhu or Moby Dick.

It’s done processing! Get the video camera! Fire up Photoshop! The next great meme in the history of the internet is…

“Nihilistic Sockeye Salmon Eating Cashews.”

Let’s get to work!

Wear this shirt: Offline. It’ll help with the withdrawal symptoms.

Don’t wear this shirt: Anywhere near Reddit. They’re going to eat you alive.

This shirt tells the world: “I only laugh at things you’ve never heard of.”

We call this color: ROFL Royal Blue

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