Did you know that the Queen’s guard worm can’t ever react when at his post, no matter what you do? Yeah? Well, that’s complete crap.

Because let’s face it, why would you put a guard worm in front of the palace if you just wanted to make a bunch of tourists happy? Those guard worms are trained killers with real actual orders to stop anyone trying to get in and hurt the Queen. Maybe they’ll ignore you when you’re just all “oh, look at me, I’m making faces” all day, but you cross a line, and that’s it. They won’t be measuring the space between the guard boxes, they’ll be measuring you for a pine box.

And something else to consider is that worms don’t act alone. That’s why they call it “a can of worms”. You mess with a worm, you mess with every worm, all together. In fact, due to the way worms reproduce, some of those worms ARE the worm you messed with! You think a guard worm is going to just forget your face?

Study this shirt closely, friends. Because if you see that hat, it’s in your best interest to just turn around and walk away.

Wear this shirt: when visiting Buckingham Palace. And please remember that those guys in the hats are just doing their job. You wouldn’t like it if some guy sat next to your desk and kicked your chair all day, would you?

Don’t wear this shirt: as expect it to be a form of measurement. We didn’t verify the ratios at all. Those could be kilometer worms for all we know.

This shirt tells the world: “Do we REALLY need more information on marigold geometry? Shouldn’t we funnel that money into AIDS research?”

We call this color: Cocoon White

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