Deep inside a mountain in Austria, a mountain that doesn’t appear on any maps, something has gone terribly wrong. The occult scientists in the Masonic Labs thought they were perfecting the ultimate soldier for Freemasonry, a chimpanzee who would carry out any mission against the enemies of the Masons (the Internation Scrabble Federation, the Girl Scouts, the NRA, and especially those stuck-up Rosicrucians). But while the radiation enhanced Bobo’s physical and mental abilities to superchimp levels, it did not render him docile. To the contrary. He mastered the secret mysteries in about half an hour, and now sits upon the Masonic Throne. And the covert global network of Fremasonry, all the power amassed through the centuries, will now be an instrument of mankind’s ultimate downfall at the hands of our chimpanzee cousins. Tremble, humanity!

This shirt was designed by: etherbrian, 44th-level adept in the Sacred Temple of Vectorius.

Wear this shirt: while you can, arrogant homo sapiens. Under Bobo’s reign, you’ll be as naked as an ape – or else.

Don’t wear this shirt: where they can see you.

This shirt tells the world: “You finally did it! You maniacs! You blew it up!”

We call this color: the Brown Light of Truth

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