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Molten Phoenix

by anemality

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer

A Common Misunderstanding

1st place in Derby #262: Gold, with 719 votes!

It was prophesied long ago that a majestic city would one day rise out of the dust and waste of a barren desert to become the most extraordinary metropolis in the history of humankind. This is the myth of Phoenix, Arizona.

They said that, when the great Phoenix came, it would sprawl out its suburbs and exurbs like the wings of a majestic bird. Like the burning of a million suns, it would be so hot as to be uninhabitable for human life seven months out of the year. It would draw its great power from nearby rivers, cooling itself relentlessly with air conditioning lest it burn away.

Unlike the other great cities of history: Babylon, Alexandria, Carthage and their ilk, the mighty Phoenix would be a vacuum of cultural achievement. Notable for neither its cuisine nor art scene, this shining beacon of life would instead excel at all-around mediocrity. Like the sterile sand from which it was born, nothing extraordinary at all would occur in this place.

However, it was also foretold by prophets ancient and obscure that this great city would burn out as quickly as it had arisen. Sages pointed specifically to the year 2008, and what has been translated as a "housing bauble" as the cause of its spectacular end.

Wear this shirt: in Flagstaff to really needle the locals.

Don't wear this shirt: between April and October (too hot).

This shirt tells the world: "I don't know anything about this 'Hellfire Club' of which you speak."

We call this color: Blackouts possible for the next month.


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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 23.999s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 6% first woot
  • 5% second woot
  • 27% < 10 woots
  • 28% < 25 woots
  • 34% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 69% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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Molten Phoenix by anemality
$19.00 Sold Out Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.