Karl Marx said that communism would just have to happen all by itself. It was Lenin who got all impatient and forced the issue. Marx said we should just sit around and wait because it would take a whole new mindset before the world could change. Which is a nice way of saying “everyone everywhere is a self-centered jerk but me.” And this especially applies to that person who’s about to say that we’re misrepresenting Marxism. Go back to Russia, you commie! And say hi to all the Russian capitalists when you get there!

It’s sad, really, because who could hate the idea that we can all band together and do nice things? Especially since it really would work if everyone did it. But there’s always that one person, usually with a popped collar, who sees a chance to be in front and goes for it. And then what can you do? You have to keep up. Even the hippies only lasted until about 1968.

Maybe one day we’ll all be in starships with replicators enjoying an intergalactic Marxian Utopia. But right now, we’re on Earth, in a heated game of hammer, sickle, paper. And since that paper allows you buy a hammer and sickle, can there really be much of a competition?

This shirt was designed by: Dan Rule, who clearly needs to better understand the digestive system before he starts designing monsters. But at least we don’t have to clean up after the snake.

Wear this shirt: to show that you support unrestrained capitalism! Unless maybe the rich people make a great big mistake, and then socialism would be okay for just a little while.

Don’t wear this shirt: around that professor who believes property is theft. You know, the one who makes you buy his book for the class. Just because he’s rich and tenured doesn’t mean he’s happy about it.

This shirt tells the world: “Awesome wins again!”

We call this color: All Property Is Theft But Even Thieves Still Have To Cut The Grass

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