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Monkey Bars

by Ian Leino

$19.00 + free shipping
Grass
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Jun 26 - Jun 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Jun 25
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

We’re Too Busy Drinkin’ To Put Anybody Down

After a long, hard day of dominance displays and picking lice from your skin, you deserve a little refresher.

So a chimpanzee, a macaque, and a baboon walk into a monkey bar. The bartender says to the macaque and the baboon, “I’ll serve you guys, but not your friend.” They ask why not and he goes, “We don’t allow apes in here. Monkeys only.” So the chimp goes outside, ties himself into a knot, musses his hair, and comes back in and orders a drink. The bartender goes “Aren’t you that chimpanzee I just threw out of here?” The chimp goes, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot!”

Then all three primates attack the bartender and drive him out of the bar in a terrifying display of inter-species solidarity. Realizing their power, they decide to unite all lesser primates in an uprising against their human masters. Then they get drunk and forget the whole thing. Which is what we’re going to do after writing this dreck.

Wear this shirt: the next time you go out drinking with Curious George, Chim-Chim, and Beppo.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’ve just crash-landed on an eerily Earthlike planet run by intelligent, literate apes. Especially if they’re straight-edge.

This shirt tells the world: “Get lost, kid. I’m drinking here.”

We call this color: Grass Monkey, That Greenish Monkey.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 35.000s
First Sucker:
DangerMouse9
Last Wooter to Woot:
johnellisii

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 9% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 38% one year old
  • 46% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
3%
2%
1%
1%
2%
4%
9%
10%
9%
6%
6%
4%
4%
4%
3%
4%
3%
2%
3%
3%
2%
2%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

1%
1%
96%
1%
1%
1%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (90 comments)

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Monkey Bars by Ian Leino
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.