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Monkey Vs. Narwhal

by Greg Abbott

$19.00 + free shipping
Baby Blue
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Aug 26 - Aug 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Aug 24
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members


What do you mean I can’t get the monkey here until 4 o’clock? I’m losing my light here!

You clearly don’t understand what’s at stake here. Do the words “Shirt.Woot” mean anything to you? SHIRT DOT WOOT. What are you, some sort of savage or something? This is great. This is just fan-stupid-tastic. I am TRYING to create art here and you are impeding my vision with ignorance and incompetence.

Look, so you have any idea what I’ve been through to make this commission work? I’ve spent days of brain power and planning coming up with this concept, sir. WEEKS, EVEN. I have spared absolutely no expense hiring photographers, renting a beach, and getting a narwhal from the local aquarium for this photo shoot so that I have the perfect photograph with which to create A MASTERPIECE IN SHIRT DESIGN. Do you know how hard it is to get a narwhal this time of year? Well, apparently, it’s only slightly harder than getting the monkey you paid for weeks ago TO SHOW UP WHEN HE’S SUPPOSED TO.

Fine. FINE. You know what? Keep your stupid monkey. I guess I’ll just have to find a small child to battle the narwhal and work with that instead. But I’m telling you, if I don’t receive my deposit back PRONTO, you’ll be hearing from my attorney.

Wear this shirt: with pants. Or shorts. Maybe even a fetching skirt.

Don’t wear this shirt: in front of Simian-Man, who took up a mission of vengeance when a narwhal killed his parents as they were leaving a movie theatre.

This shirt tells the world: “No animals were harmed in the making of this shirt.”

We call this color: Baby Blue Battle To The Death

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 8.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 15% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 5% one month old
  • 26% one year old
  • 52% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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Monkey Vs. Narwhal by Greg Abbott
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.