1st place in Derby #88: Music, with 1419 votes!

Oh, wow, you guys, last night, right, I was on this site, you know, and I can’t tell you about it, you know, because it’s a secret, but anyway, right, there’s this guy who gets all the new releases, okay, and he, like, totally got me the new Demeter! Listen, you don’t even know, it’s so perfect, listen, listen, she, like, went to this underground place for, like, half a year, right, and all she did was work on this new sound, right, so when she came back, there was like, all this energy, and it was, I don’t know, just bursting out, you know, like it was alive or something, right? Anyway, I put it on my iPod, you know, so I can enjoy it, and it really, I guess, changed me, you know, like a Pet Sounds/OK Computer mashup only times a million, and it’s, like, man, wow, I can’t get enough of this album, you know? I hope she puts it out on vinyl.

Wear this shirt: when you’re gardening. Plants appreciate fashion. Also mulch. But we don’t sell mulch. Even though sometimes some of you might disagree.

Don’t wear this shirt: in autumn. Rather you should begin to make sacrifice to the angry dragon which will soon devour the sun. How do you not know that? Don’t they teach religion in school any more?

This shirt tells the world: “Hey, let that play for a bit. When it hits the sky I’m gonna climb it and try to get John Linnell’s autograph.”

We call this color: Those Flowers Will Turn Into Black Berries But Don’t Eat Them Or You’ll Die Like Kurt Cobain

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