Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed it took me this long to try this.

“Give it up, Luthor. You’re never going to win. Not as long as I’m here.”

Yeah, I know. Believe me, I know. It’s getting really aggravating at this point. Forget about trying to take over the world; I can’t even close a real estate deal without you showing up and punching everything to pieces. You’re like a flu, you know that? I’m so sick of you and yet I can’t get you off me.

“A flu of justice.”

A flu of- Do you THINK about words before they fall out of your fat yokel head? Honestly, was your planet one giant wheat field or something? Oh, let’s dispense with all this. Here. I have a gun.

“A gun? Don’t you know a gun’s worthless against me? Go ahead. Take your best shot.”

BLAM!

...

thump

No…no way. Did that WORK? Ha! Holy crap, that WORKED! AHAHAHA! Oh, man, you must have the IQ of a brick. You thought it was just a GUN? I’M LEX LUTHOR, B$^&! THAT WAS A KRYPTONITE BULLET! Oh man, all this time, so many hundreds of millions of dollars wasted on death rays and bombs and s$^& and all it took was a stupid green bullet. Wow. Y’know, that wasn’t nearly as gratifying as I thought it’d be.

I mean, he just slumped over. No pithy quote. No epic, last minute effort to save the world. Wow. Just like that. This is why you should never meet your heroes.

Or kill them.

Wear this shirt: ANY time bullets might be present. You want everyone to be aware.

Don’t wear this shirt: If you’re planning on getting into a gunfight. You want the other guy to worry about whether or not bullets will have an effect.

This shirt tells the world: “Remember that Dane Cook joke from 2003? No? Well it’s all I got, okay?”

We call this color: If Superman were a Werewolf, would a Silver Kryptonite bullet do the trick?

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