What Do You Mean By “Bark”?

Run the water near my houseplant, it hides under the bed. But they say out on the veldt, the big trees just can’t get enough of fresh running water. Can you imagine, a whole forest, stretching their roots towards an underground river? Why, my catctus goes crazy if his paw accidentally hits the water dish!

But I’ve seen the nature shows. Those big Panthera Quercus lie around all day, just soaking up the sun. And they say sometimes, when the wind catches the leaves just right, you can hear the roar all the way across the valley. I bet that would be amazing, wouldn’t it? To be so close to something so primal?

What? Why is it so hard to believe? We saw a dogwood last summer, and you didn’t act all shocked then. Honestly, if you keep acting like this, I’m not going to show you my photos of the tiger lilies I took at the local zoo.

Wear this shirt: in winter. Go find a drama student if you don’t understand.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re a furry. Unless you’re some sort of vegetable-based furry. Do you guys have vegetable souls now, or do you still have to be a mammal? We haven’t kept up with the journals of late.

This shirt tells the world: “All kings eventually fall victim to some rake.”

We call this color: Creme And Fertilizer

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