Maybe if we turn…no, stop, you’re making it worse!

Listen, young Diplodocus. I have no problem with you attending the Holiday Party, even if you are underage. But if you’re going to hang out with the grown-ups you need to act a little more grown-up. This comically over-sized scarf is mine, and I’d like it back now.

I don’t want to cause a scene or anything, just turn…no, that’s not working. No, I can’t walk around you; there’s not enough slack in the scarf now! How did you even get it this taut? You think this is funny? Yeah, well it’s not. And those idiots are hyenas. They’ll laugh at anything.

Come on, let’s work together here. This party is epic; I don’t want to be stuck to you. Look at some of these animals! Wow, is that a Quagga? Very cool! I especially like those guys you brought with the funky names. Who’s that guy? Albertosaurus? I want to talk to somebody like that; I’ll bet he’s interesting. We’ve got to get untied, here.

Hey, why are you freaking out? Who’s this guy with the stubby little arms walking this way? He sure looks excited.

Wear this shirt: To your parents’ for Christmas. They’ll just shake their heads.

Don’t wear this shirt: To the History Museum. Some know-it-all with no sense of joy is going to point out everything wrong about it.

This shirt tells the world: “Would a warm-blooded reptile NEED a scarf?”

We call this color: All Wrapped Up Red

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