3rd place in Derby #206: Role Reversal, with 626 votes

What is this? What are all these reporters and cameras doing here? What the heck has everyone got their fronds in such a twist about?

“Protesters, Mr. Redwood. We’ve got a bunch of Weeping Willows camped out on the roof of these buildings. They say they won’t come down until we’ve met their demands.”

Demands? Gosh dang, bleeding chloroplast hippies. I’ve got a schedule to keep here! This whole block has to come down before next week or the developers are gonna have my grass. What is it they want, anyway?

“It’s the local wildlife, sir. They say by clearing out this block we’re displacing thousands of the simple creatures that worked so hard to put it all up in the first place. They’re concerned we’re upsetting the balance of the eco-system that…”

Eco-system?! Those “simple creatures” turned my uncle Reggie into wood pulp! They made books about sparkling vampires out of him, for Petunia’s sake. Forgive me if I’m a little less than sympathetic. Now have Evergreen and Birch cut off the water supply to those buildings. We’ll see if a few dry roots don’t change their tune.

Wear this shirt: if you feel the Giving Tree needs to take a little something back for himself.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’d paved paradise and put up a parking lot.

This shirt tells the world: “M. Night tried to warn us.”

We call this color: Keep Off The Grass

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