4th place in Derby #198: Shirt Titles Reinterpreted!

Basically, this is us. It seems people don’t feel like they should have to pay to be entertained any more.

“Walk us through this graph, Peter.”

Well it’s not so much a graph as an alliterative representation, but uh, okay. The bird could be, uh, the bands still clinging to their contracts. The leaves are like small ventures we’ve tried to increase revenue, like licensing for films and television, “bonus track” albums, that sort of thing.

“What’s the spider?”

The spider? Uh, hmm…well, he represents pirates. Illegal downloaders. Nasty types that “bite” us with their internet connections, and then “suck us dry” with their pirated music sharing.

“Interesting. And what’s the giant record unraveling supposed to signify?”

That? Oh, that’s us. Ripping apart and falling downward, ever downward, to irrelevance and relative poverty.

Wear this shirt: On the cover of your next independently-produced release.

Don’t wear this shirt: While perusing the Billboard Charts to figure out which album you’ll torrent next.

This shirt tells the world: “I miss the kiss of treachery.”

We call this color: Download this track now for only navy nine cents!

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