​1st Place in Derby #337: The Fifty States, with 327 votes!

Oh hello there, nice to meet you. I'm Adam and I'm the guy at this casual gathering who has been to all fifty states and am going to crow about it like I'm some kind of well-travelled demi-god. 

No really, name one of the states and I'll tell you exactly when and why I was there at some point in my 34 years, which is hardly an achievement worth noting at all, nevermind basing an entire party conversation around. Arkansas? Yes, I was there in '99 while driving to Florida for a show. I know, it was crazy to drive that far but that's how I was back then! 

I'm going to cut you off at the pass and pre-empt your next question, which is that yes, I'm including both Alaska and Hawaii. Want me to explain how I visited those states as though it were equivalent to graduating from freakin' medical school? My dad worked in Alaska when I was a kid and my buddy Garrett is from Maui so I visited him there one time and saw Jack Johnson at the beach. I'm pretty sure. 

Hey while you're going to the kitchen would you mind grabbing me a beer? Hello? 

Back to top