Step right up, if you dare
2nd place in Derby #85: Circus! with 946 votes!
Hurry! Hurry! Ladies and gentlemen! Children of all ages! See the stupendous, the staggering, the seriously scary… Niiiightmare Ciiiircus! Yes, indeed, it’s three rings of mayhem, terror, cannibalism and the paranormal!
Thrill to the spectacle of Lady Carlotta Kramer, Not a Lion Tamer and her totally untamed lions! Don’t sit too close—the mauling of an audience member is a distinct possibility!
See Kilgore the Magnificent perform his world-infamous feat: Sawing a woman in half! There is absolutely no trick! Not for the squeamish!
Visit our Hall of Freaks, home to a variety of human oddities including Jenny Ick, the Girl With the Contagious Diseases—and Mordo, the World’s Strongest Sadist!
Play games of chance on the midway, but be careful! If you lose, your soul belongs to the Nightmare Circus forever after! And don’t neglect to ride our poorly maintained carnival rides! There’s no coaster quite so exciting as one with an abysmal safety record!
Also, we’ve got plenty of clowns!
No, nothing special about the clowns. They’re just regular clowns, like at any other circus. Clowns are disturbing enough as they are, don’t you think?
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Don’t be shy! Astonishing sights that, once witnessed, can never be unseen! Exhibitions that will haunt you for all your days! Grisly displays of barbarism and death are WAITING FOR YOU!
Wear this shirt: to remind people that circuses aren’t all cotton candy and showgirls. Sometimes a circus can be creepy. And sometimes it can be a heavy metal magazine.
Don’t wear this shirt: to a topless beach. You can either get into the spirit or you can stay home, OK? Don’t go down there just to gawk. It’s tacky.
This shirt tells the world: “Can’t sleep, clowns will eat me.”
We call this color: Carnberry Cranival.
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